


Understanding Your Vulcan, A Manual

by noxie



Category: Star Trek: Reboot
Genre: Comedy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-15
Updated: 2009-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-02 20:10:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noxie/pseuds/noxie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A case study in five typical scenarios. With added bickering.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Understanding Your Vulcan, A Manual

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the lovely [](http://angelchildr.dreamwidth.org/profile)[](http://angelchildr.dreamwidth.org/)**angelchildr** for the quick beta!

**Understanding Your Vulcan, A Manual** __

 

1\. Common Misconceptions

The moment they've materialized in the transporter room, they continue to argue. The ship is hit by the shockwave of the Klingon warbird exploding, but they have reached minimum safety distance, and shields are holding just fine.

Spock steps off the pad first, frowning at the captain. "Emotion has clearly been clouding your judgement."

"Are you saying I should have left you to die?" Jim replies heatedly, following closely.

"It would have been logical to put the safety of your entire crew before that of one individual."

"Fine!" he snaps. "I'll do that next time!" He throws him a long look before he storms away, the door closing behind him with what seems like an angry hiss.

Scotty grins at Spock and his mildly puzzled expression. "Lad's got some temper, eh?"

"Indeed."

"Well, aren't you gonna go after him?"

Spock slightly tilts his head to the side. "Is this common procedure among humans?"

"I should say so."

"That is illogical. If the captain had wished to discuss the matter further, he ought to simply have stayed."

Scotty eyes him with undisguised amusement. "Aye. But where'd be the fun in that?"

  
2\. Your Vulcan's Friends Are Your Friends (Even If They Don't Know)

  
Jim is at a loss. How did Uhura do it when she was seeing Spock? How did she manage not to strangle him at least once a day? He doesn't ask, but she feels compelled to tell him anyway.

"It's not _that_ hard. They're a very… logical race."

"No kidding."

She gives him a quick smile that still somehow manages to be sympathetic. "You know what might help? To find out a thing or two about Vulcans."

"Right." Why hadn't he thought of that? He should have familiarized himself with Vulcan culture, customs and philosophy more closely long ago, he realizes guiltily. And not just as Spock's whatever-he-is, but as his captain, too. He thinks he can safely skip the info on Vulcan physiology though. That he certainly _has_ familiarized himself with. He grins a little at the thought.

Uhura impatiently stirs the ice cubes in her drink. "You're the reason I broke up with him, did he ever mention that?"

He blinks slowly, trying to process all the implications. "Wait - what?"

"Really, it's so obvious."

"What's so obvious?"

She rolls her eyes as she gets up. "Seriously, the two of you. _Seriously_."

3\. Why Pouting Gets You Nowhere

"I'm not talking to you", Jim says the moment he arrives at sickbay, deliberately not looking at Spock.

Spock looks up as Jim steps to his bed. Most of the Vulcan's face is swollen and green. "That statement is illogical. You just did."

"Why do you always have to be so…!" Jim ends his sentence in an indefinable noise of frustration.

"I am not sure I understand. Please specify."

"Do you have a death wish, Spock? Why do you always have to be the one among the away team who gets injured?"

"I am certain the ship's log can produce proof that I am not."

"Fuck the ship's log!"

"You appear to be upset."

Jim snorts. "Why would I be upset? You just almost died! Again!"

"I was merely fulfilling my duty, Captain. You know this."

"Your duty, Spock, is to _stay alive and with me_. You got that?"

Spock raises an eyebrow. "As I am your first officer, I can not deny that there is some logic in that statement."

Jim huffs, sinks onto the chair next to the bed, and bangs his head against the mattress. Repeatedly.

Spock watches him with an expression that seems to say: _Fascinating_.

4\. Excessive Amounts of Alcohol and How They Help

Bones pours him another strong one and frowns. "I don't wanna say I told you so – but I told you so."

"That's true", Jim admits, sounding a little slurred. He thinks he might be past the point that still qualifies as tipsy. "You did."

"I told _him_ so, too."

"You did what?"

"I couldn't well not, could I? The way things were going, the two of you were a catastrophe waiting to happen!"

Jim blinks confusedly. "What do you mean 'were'?"

"For Christ's sake, man, grow up! You may be hard to bear when you're together, but it's even worse when you're not!"

Jim grins a little at that. "Really? You think we're good together?"

Bones crosses his arms in front of his chest. "That's not what I said."

"Is too. Admit it."

The doctor rolls his eyes and drags Jim up from his chair. "Go and apologize to him already. I'm sick and tired of your whining!"

Jim struggles to stay on his legs, but finds his balance. "What am I apologizing for again?"

"How the hell should I know? But I'm sure you're the one who messed up!"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

Bones pats him on the back and steers him towards the door, taking the empty glass from his hand. "Good luck. You're gonna need it."

"Did you know", Jim mutters, turning in the open door, "that luck is irrelevant?"

Bones pushes him outside with a horrified expression. "Good Lord, it's contagious."

  
  
5\. A Footnote on Being Romantic

They are standing side by side on a hilltop at sunset on a newly discovered planet, and the rich violet of the darkening sky is breathtaking.

"Spock", Jim starts hesitantly, figuring that after three months of sleeping with him it might be the right moment to ask. "You and I… what is this thing we have exactly?"

Spock glances at him in a way that conveys surprise at the fact he needed to ask. "I believe we are in what humans refer to as a romantic relationship."

Jim chuckles softly. "Minus the romantic part."

"I must admit I never could quite grasp the concept of what humans call 'romantic'."

Jim grins. "Me neither."

They stand in silence for a long moment, watching the changing violet hues. It's peaceful, and they earned it after a long, tiring shift.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Jim says quietly.

"It is rather pleasing to the eye."

Jim's heart is beating loudly in his chest. "You think there's a chance it will last?"

He half-expects Spock to misunderstand and break into an explanation about sunset being a daily recurring natural phenomenon, not a lasting thing.

But he doesn't. His voice is thoughtful and soft when he replies. "I would say that there is insufficient data to make a prediction." There's a trace of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "But it does not seem unlikely."

A broad smile lights up Jim's face. "That's good enough for me."

He pulls the Vulcan into a tight hug before he kisses him. Spock returns the kiss softly, gently, and rests his hands on Jim's hips. He leans his forehead against his captain's. Rare moments like these are everything to Jim, everything that really matters. They understand each other best when neither of them is saying a word. That much at least, he's sure of.

  
\- FIN -


End file.
